Since reaching my BMI in Sept 2009 of 140, I reached 180 lbs (I know, I know!) in August of this year.
Call it dietary laziness and greed. I reverted back to my same old bad habits and paid for it dearly.
Back came the unlimited quantities of wine and spirits - especially during the summers around the pool. Be damned were the healthy portions and food selections, when pizza and carbs abounded in the work cafeteria.
Its amazing how arrogant you become when you shed the pounds, look and feel great, and think that youre invincible to the almighty calorie.
So, after spending this summer feeling ugly in my own skin - with back flab and muffin-top rolls casting an unsightly silhouette on my bikini-clad frame, I enrolled back on the strict diet.
As you faithful readers know, I dabbled back on and off Bernstein a few times over the last year. Id creep up to 160-165 and think its better to shed these few pounds than let it get out of hand. However, I just couldnt get motivated and stay strict on the diet. I blame peanut butter actually. I missed it so much in the first round that once I reached my goal weight it became a loving staple in my day. So, strict was difficult for me.
I had to find my resolve back. I had to get serious.
I think when I saw 179-180 on the scale, I almost had a heart attack. I could no longer be blind to the reality that I had let things go beyond my control.
From my lovely new size 8-10 wardrobe came some new pieces into my closet. A few size 12 capris and even a size 14 for "that time of the month." And here I swore I would never see those numbers again - and they were even feeling tight!
On August 18, 2011, I re-enrolled at my clinic. What a surprise though - a whole new crop of nurses and staff. A nice change - some new faces. Actually, I think having new staff helped me to motivate myself. They didnt know me - they didnt know my past success and failure. I didnt need to feel embarassed that I had let myself slip. It could be a fresh start with them. It made the transition back easier.
So since the 18th Ive lost 12 lbs. Ive had a few good 2++ burning days, but I still struggle to stay strict. Its not as easy this time - knowing whats lurking in my cupboards (aka peanut butter.) I have cheated a few times because I seem so much hungrier this time. However, Im committed to making it work.
I think what is a motivator for me is that I paid for 2 months upfront. With that kind of financial commitment, it helps me keep focused. I mean, why would I purposely want to literally "piss" $1,100 down the drain for a mere trace, or no ketosis at all? However, as Im occasionally tempted in the evenings to fill my belly with a bun or extra melba toast, I will need to make myself a little card with the reminders as to why Im doing this. Otherwise, I cant seem to summon enough willpower to resist incidental cheating, and sabotage the diet and my success.
A vicious circle....
Anyway - heres Round II of the program.
Wish me luck!
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar